Being Ghosted

Maybe in around august 1st, I matched someone from Bumble whose i thought I could talke with in the same frequency. He loves anime and I do, too. He seems like nice guy, a good one. The next morning, there was no more conversation in few days. I guess he didn’t interest in me, because I do the same when I don’t feel like continue talking to my matches on bumble. So, I unmatched him in disappointment. The next morning, he DM me on IG. Actually, I was happy when he started, and I felt like there was kind of intention to continue chitchat. He asked, why do I unmatched him, and I told him my reason.

At that time, he explained that he was busy, working on project in a village where the signal was not good. We continue talking, until then, we talked about MBTI. He asked me his type and the last words I remember said to him was that INFPs are mostly soft hearted person. He didn’t reply until then, but view my story. Few days passed, and he still didn’t response my last chat. Oke, well, he seems don’t want to continue this. I removed him and unfollowed him, again in disappointment because I did believe we have the same frequency and we could talk without being awkward. I was so disappointed, and I unsend every text I sent to him. I thought that was my first time being ghosted, but no, I forget that in 2020, people who made me poem, short story, and bombing me with that kind of caring, actually ghosted me too. That feeling for being ghosted after all that good conversation made me questioned what did I do wrong? What did I said? Is there anything wrong? And I reviewed every words I typed, every story I made, or my photos which I posted.

If he doesn’t like me and didn’t feel like to talk to me, why bother DM me on IG, when we matched on bumble. If he doesn’t like my appearance, why bother continue talking when he already knew my pictures on IG. I kept thinking the most reasonable possibility to prevent the same mistake on future matches.

I accepted we were done before start anything. Later when I have something out of that awkward ‘goodbye’, about Makoto Shinkai. I brace myself to asked him about the release schedule outside Japan. Surprisingly, the first thing he typed was, “kamu kemarin kenapa ngeblock aku sih, chus?”

I was abit shocked. Actually I was going to ask him back about his reason for not texting me back, but I thought it was not wise. My objectivity to text him was to ask about Suzume no Tojimari, Makoto’s latest anime. So, I just answered that I thought we didn’t want to continue to talk. Yesterday, when I installed Bumble again, because Boo is too random, I found his account again.

I asked my friend, should I swipe him left or right. Actually, I really wanna know the reason he didn’t text me back. Like, things that I already let it go, come back bother me. Wkwkwk I don’t know. May be because later I felt like we were connected and then he disappeared just like that.

 

Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Perjalanan Menuju Stasiun

  Itu adalah tujuh jam yang singkat, tetapi mata dan tubuh kami punya batas untuk merespon kemauan otak dan melanjutkan percakapan. Lalu, masing-masing kami harus melanjutkan perjalanan masing-masing. Pergi ke tempat tujuan masing-masing.   Kupikir aku tak akan paham bagaimana bisa Celine memutuskan turun dari kereta dan menghabiskan sepanjang malam mengobrol dengan Jesse pada seri pertama Before Sunrise. Dua bulan lalu aku naik dari Surabaya menuju Jakarta. Seperti biasa kubuka buku, bukan untuk membunuh waktu-waktu bosan, tetapi untuk berjaga-jaga agar tak ada yang mengajakku bicara. Aku punya teori bahwa dua benda paling ampuh yang bisa melindungi manusia dari percakapan yang tak diinginkan adalah buku dan headset. Teori ini sudah kuuji dalam berbagai perjalanan darat, laut, dan udara. Kombinasi keduanya sangat dianjurkan bagi mereka yang menghindari percakapan basa-basi dan kecanggungan menghadapi orang asing. Kala itu kubawa satu buku Intan Paramaditha favoritku, Sihir Perem
Baca selengkapnya

Suara Angin Lewat

Sahabatku kala SD tiba-tiba mengajakku keluar Senin kemarin, tapi aku merasa sangat lelah dengan aktivitas seminggu lalu, kemudian kutawarkan hari Rabu sebagai pengganti. Kemarin, kami pergi ke PRJ akhirnya. Niat awalnya ingin makan saja, tetapi ternyata di sana begitu ramai. Ada ribuan orang tumpah-ruah di Grand City Mall. Kami membeli snack paket, lalu mengantre makanan. Aku hampir tidak bisa menceritakan apa saja yang ada di sana, karena terlalu banyak orang di sana, terlalu banyak suara, dan entahlah, aku tidak begitu menyukai itu semua. Kami berkeliling mencari tempat yang lebih sepi, membeli susu oat, lalu pulang. Ketika pulang, aku mengajak sahabatku melewati jalan yang belum pernah kami lewati. Aku tidak tahu ke mana jalan itu mengarah dan terhubung. Sahabatku menawarkan untuk melihat Gmaps, tapi aku menolak. Sepertinya lama sekali aku tidak melewati jalan baru, jadi kupikir biarlah kami nyasar. Aku ingat mantanku pernah bertanya suatu hari ketika aku tersesat di jalan, "B
Baca selengkapnya

Sesekali Dalam Sehari

 Ada hari-hari seperti ini: tiba-tiba merasa sangat kesepian dan butuh teman bicara. Perasaan terasing dan teralienasi, karena tak ada satupun yang bisa diajak bicara selain perihal pekerjaan di kantor. Hal seperti ini terjadi berulang kali, meski ada kalanya mereda. When i drove my bike back home, i feel my eyes burned and i couldn't stop crying. I know exactly i need help, but i don't know where to go and i have no one. Not a single friend. Staying alive is the hardest thing. Everyday i keep telling myself, there's some big responsibilities i'm holding on my hand and if i die, it's not only about me quitting my life, but would probably harm others. So, i continue to breath. But this darkness and loneliness consume me everyday, and i know that one day, sooner or later, i'll become ashes. Menyedihkan rasanya memelihara 'rasa tidak enak merepotkan orang lain' sebagai alasan buat tetep bernafas hari ini. Setiap hari, setiap kali, ada rasa ingin pergi ke ka
Baca selengkapnya