The Monster I've Been Living With
Is there anyone fear of their self? Everyday i ask myself questions, "is this the right thing to do? will i ever regret the decision i made? will it destroy me the way i did last time?" I always fear everytime i should make any decision, even the simplier, like the fear i would regret it later. But when i didn't make any, the pressure inside or outsider gave to me drive me crazy. The overthink and over analyze i should bear everytime. The restless unusual heartbeat pressed my chest and made me hardly breath. Made wanna die sometimes. Made me wanna quit mostly. This happen mostly when i'm about to start a relationship. Is this person worth my time, worth the effort i will spend, will he cheat on me? or destroy me? Is this person really into me? or he just wanna flirt? why did it take longer time for him to reply? does he have other girls he's into? am i his second option? Did he change his mind? did i make mistake? those crazy questions really drive me crazy and m